why oh why??

im glad im getting close to my diagnosis, because i always wondered why i didnt find things easy. i dont mean school work, or not getting into trouble, that was all pretty easy and straight formward. what i really struggle with is just life! i remember when the kids were younger, and started school, it was hell getting up out of bed, getting the kids ready, making sure they had everything they needed, and getting there on time. in the early days, this didnt happen, and my eldest missed a lot of time from school, regularly didnt have the right pe kit, money, letters signed etc, and even missed photo day. i would look at the really common scruffy, pill head/heroin addict parents, who lived on the bad end of the council estate, (although it was all pretty bad), and just could not comprehend how these people managed to achieve what i could not. it started to become easier when i started work in the morning, and the children had to be at breakfast club, even thoough, they would arrive there too late fo a full breakfast, or with the wrong things, i would loose, or forget to respond to letters, forget dinner money, miss parents evenings, etc, all because i just could not for the life of me get organised. i desperately wanted to be the perfect mother that i had, but something was just stopping it happen, and i could figure out whuy everyone else could do it i and i couldnt.

the longer i worked, the better the routine got, so kids ended upiat school on time, usually with the correct equipment, but still forgot money, letters, etc. by the time i had moved to wheatley hills, and was pregnant with my youngest, i was managing to get the kids to school, everyday, on time, (more or less), still shocking with remembering things like dinner money, and responding to letters, etc, but as i was no longer working, i was in a position to go back to the school of neccessary.

i am the same in my daily life. i know what needs to be done. i have evey intention to be orgnaised and get things done correctly, and efficiently. the prolem is there just seems to be something blocking in my brain that lets it happen! i think this is the same block that means i have absolutely no sense of direction what so ever!