so the Aspie stuff!

well lets start with diagnosed aspies!

my eldest son was diagnsed with aspergers syndrome when he was 4, in 2001. he since went on to be diagnosed with ADHD a couple of years later, then dyslexia, dyspraxia, and most recently he has growth development delay, caused by an innability of the pituitory gland to produce growth hormone.

he has a younger brother, 18 months younger, and when her was 3 attending private nursery, i started to notice the same incidents, such as...."can we have a word, mrs martin, cameron has been involved in xyz incident" that occured with connor the year before, that resulted in a private chat with the teacher, and her handing me a leaflet on aspergers.

at this point in my life i had a new boyfreind, who is now my husband, and had moved house. i raised the question with camerons nursery that i elieved he could be autistic, where i was told that he was most probably copying his older brother, as it was unlikely i would have 2 autistic children, and anyway, cameron made eye contact with the staff, so couldnt possib;y have autism. hmmm knew i was in for the long hall with this one, just didnt quite realise how long!

not long after this i turned up at nursery to collect my son after finishing work, and there waiting for me were 2 social workers, instructing me that there were concerns over camerons welfare, he was to be taken to hospital for an examination immediately, where his future would be decided. i turned up to hospital, where i was treated like, well a child abuser. i called my boyfriend who worked in Harrogate, over 60 miles away, to come and help me, as i was absolutely hysterical, on the verge of attacking doctorsa and social workers alike. the doctor who examined cameron stated that ther marks on camerons body, ( a slight bruise on his thigh, whos origin i could not explain) were consistant with systematic abuse opver al ong period of time. now i dont believe the doctor whas expecting me to challenge this statement, and neither were the social workers. i asked that how he could summise from that mark, that abuse had occured. he replied that physical abuse was when a child was marked at the hands of another, i questioned this as at this time smacking your child was not illegal in this country, and i did, and still do when neccessary smack my children. (whole new thread). he could not argue this fact, after questioning the social workers, who said that while smacking was not illegal it was looked upon disfavourably by DMBC. the doctors angle of attack was now that in order to leave a mark, excessive force must have been used, at which point the 2 social workers looked very pleased with themselves! again, response from mother wasnot expected. i asked him, as a doctor was he saying in his medical opinion that a bruise could only occur as a reslut of excessive force, to which her agreed. i than asked if i was right in my assumption that a bruise occured when someones cappilaries were damaged by a trauma. again he said that this was the case. at this point i asked if he could tel me if the point of damage varied between individuals, or if all capilaries could only stand a certain force. at this point her admitted that capillary strength was donw to individual dfference. i then asked if his previous statement, that no doubt would be presented to court, that the marks on camerons body were consitant with systematic abuse over a long period of time wer still correct, bareing in mind we have no way of knowing at this precise time the level of trauma that camerons capillaries could withstand. he admitted that it was not definate, but highly likely that camerons marks were caused by force, despite the fact that the health visito, who was not present, despite my requests, was fully aware of how easilycameron bruised. the social workers pointed out at this point that the nursery had reported that cameron was quiet and withdrawn, and did not like interacting with children or adults. i explianed my concern that i believed cameron to be autistic, to which the doctor, a paediatritican stated that it was impossible to have more than one autistic child ina familiy, and i couldnt use that as and excuse! by this point my partner had arrived from work, and we were told they were going to decide if cameron would be going into care or not. after much deliberation on their part, and hysterical wailing on mine, it was decided that the children could come home, on the understanding that stuart moved out, and we would cooperate fully with social services.

so the children were put on the child protection register, and stuart, as far as socail services were concerened had moved out! we had core group meetings and parenting classes, (all aimed a NT children), and i thought we were actually making progress with the charade, until one day i turn up to nurserry to collect cameron some 6 weeks later, to find the manager of the nursery in the hall with a group of parents, who at the top of her voice stated that they had had to call in social services again! thanks for that! this time, it was the soon to be infamous Frank Foster who decided that the friction burns on camerons back caused by bumping downstairs on his bum, were actually cigarette burns! aside from the fact that neither stuart or i smoked at that point, the worst was yet to come. cameron was brought into the room, bearing in mind he is only 3, and the following exchange occured between cameron and frank foster.
FF: "hi cameron, i see you have hurt your back"
CM "no"
FF "who hurt your back"
CM looks bemused
FF "did stuart hurt your back"
CM "no"
FF " its ok you can tell me that stuart hurt you"
CM "stuart hurt me"

now i agree at this point cameron had not been officially diagnosed as autistic, but it was in thew mix that neirotic mum kept banging on about the possibility, so the literal interprettation meant cameron was simply being compliant. aside from that, asking those questions in that was to any 3 year old was clearly wrong, but the nail was in the coffin. so off we trail back to hospital agin, to endure another interrogation and examination. fortunately stuart arrived prior to us being seen by the Doctor. when we went in the doctor looked at cameon who was snuggeled up in stuarts arms, and had a bemused look on his face. cameron was laid on the couch, and the docotr looked at the "evidence". at this point the doctor exclaimed that he was furious and called inthe social workers. he began to berrate them for waisting not only his time but mine and stuarts too, as this child was clearly not being abused, and was part of a happy healthy familiy. both stuart and i broke down in tears, that finally someone believed us. i think my sobs were more wracking then from the sheer releif than the hysterical wailing i had exhibited on the previous occasion.

when our assigned soical worker heard about the inciednt, she too was not happy, and immediately had camerons name put down for the child development clinc, which at this point was just a formality in diagnosing his autism.